Monday, March 15, 2010
The truth, whatever that is
My little man was making himself a snack the other night and wrecked the kitchen. He got the fire out before the firefighters arrived and wasn't hurt, thank God. My ire over his carelessness quickly gave way to relief over his well-being. It was an accident and he is okay. Nothing else really matters.
It's a tricky thing, to be honest. He's 17 and couldn't be less like me. His priorities are so far different from mine at that age that I wonder how we could have shared the same home for so long. Sure, I'm just his Step Monster, but I raised him from the age of four. Sadly for Josh, Biological would never think of putting him first. Biological pretended to put Josh's sister first for a while, primarily to get out of paying child support. Jmo got eventually wise to that, much to her disappointment.
Josh and Jmo both have weathered a lot over the last few years, with the wife and I at odds over EVERY FUCKING THING. Those hostilities have subsided, primarily because I'm 500 miles away. Neither of them has an evil bone their body (although they can be real shits sometimes), but I worry about them having tough ways to go in the world.
I wouldn't be a teenager today for all the tea in China. The world is way too loud. Empathy is exploited, not honored. Ignorance is becoming bliss and shallow reaction has somehow become wisdom. Adults throw tantrums to get their way and don't seem to have any shame about it. It's tough enough being grown up and knowing a thing or so; I couldn't bear being a kid trying to figure all of this crap out.
I guess I'm waxing so philosophical because I'm relieved for Josh and looking forward to seeing him in 24 hours. I would love nothing more than to tell him that being honest, turning the other cheek and persevering are all rewarded, but I know he and the other kids his age thinks that's all bullshit. I can't blame them for reaching that conclusion because they see how far lying, slandering, sneaking and screwing others over gets people these days.
Maybe it was always that way and I'm naive. Whatever the truth is, if there is a truth, I guess I'll have to let him find for himself and hope for the best.
See you tomorrow, buddy.